Christmas!

This year for me Christmas was a new experience. My sister just got married on 10.10.10 and my parents & I were having all of her in-laws (about 25 people) over for Christmas. I started decorating the whole house the weekend after Thanksgiving.  

Main Table

Our Soccer Restroom

My mom's handmade & painted Nativity

 homemade this wreath

Then a week before our Christmas Eve Party I started baking all the cookies. I had never baked before. I love to cook but baking has never been my thing. The first cookies were peanut butter but they were horrible (made them twice both bad). I kept baking all kinds of cookies: coconut macrons, oatmeal, empanadas (grape, cherry & pumpkin filling), Mexican wedding cookies, spritz cookies, and snicker-doodles. They were all yummy, even if I do say so myself.  :-)

My cookies!

The next thing I tackled was the appetizers. I wanted something creative and several different small dishes. I made a cheese dip, fruit-kabobs, side-kabobs (idk what to call them), and boneless wings.

Appetizers

Side-Kabobs

Fruit-Kabobs

  The party was a huge success! Everyone loved everything we did. After we ate we celebrated my brother-in-laws b-day (which is the 24th) with a Baskin Robins cake. 

He opened his b-day gifts then we had our family gift exchange; where I got a great scrap-booking kit!

Gift exchange gifts!

Then we sang Christmas Carols in Spanish. My Bro-in-law's parents are Spaniard but he and his brothers were born in Puerto Rico. We ended the night playing games. Loteria which is like a Mexican bingo and a white elephant game (but we had all new gifts). I had a great time with the family. I love them all so much. They have accepted us as part of their family which is great. 

Family Time!

Loteria Cards

Once everyone left my parents, sister, brother-in-law and I opened all our gifts. We had a wonderful time! I can't wait till our next family get together. We always have a blast.  

I hope Everyone had a Blessed Christmas full of love, happiness and family time!!!!

TORN

I am torn between my beliefs and my health. I was told because of my Pulmonary Hypertension (PH) it was dangerous for me to have children. First. the medication I'm taking causes sever birth defects. Secondly, my heart wouldn't be able to handle the stress of being pregnant. That being said, I am Catholic and I am firmly Pro Life. I see no reason to have an abortion at all. Life is a precious miracle. 

I believe every child is born because God created them for a purpose. Each child is a gift from God and He doesn't make mistakes. I personally would rather die than have an abortion. I was a Pro Life minister for along time. So I feel strongly against abortion. I love children and I see no justification in abortion. No matter what the circumstance of the pregnancy. I received an email today about a Bishop in Phoenix that has separated the Catholic Church from a hospital (St. Josephs) because they provided a woman with an abortion and also ex-communicated the nun who authorized the abortion. Now I know that before any decisions are made, especially one of this magnitude, there is full investigation done into the situation. I firmly believe the Bishop was in full authority to make this decision based on his knowledge of this particular case. The woman who had the abortion had PH and that was the reason for the abortion. Knowing all this has occurred because of my Catholic faith and my medical condition it makes me think what I would do in this situation. I have talk to my Priest and received pardon from the church to use contraceptives. But I still would feel horrible for a child's life to be in my hands and not be able to carry full term.  Personally I would not have an abortion and put both our lives in God's hands and ask for His will to be done. 

The link below has the newspaper article and press conference video about the Bishops decision:

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/news/articles/2010/12/22/20101222stjoes1222.html

Friend or Foe?

True Story!!!

I was talking to a friend last night and he asked me what I am doing for New Years this year. And for a brief moment I traveled back to New Years eve 2009.

 My best friend (we have known each other since 2003) Tibby and I had gone shopping for killer outfits because we were going out on New Years for the 1st time in our lives. We were so excited and ready to have a great time. Our New Years resolution was to go out at least one a month together. With our lives always doing the right thing we wanted to try something new. We didn't want to go crazy and lead wild lives but we wanted to experience our early twenties because we never did when we were in our early 20s. So that night we went to a club and we had the best time. We went to this same club every Saturday night. We were having the time of our lives. We became friends with the bar-tenders and DJ's It was just the best time in our lives. Eventually two of the DJ's became our good friends, John & Pat (who are also a couple). We would go out to eat after the club closed and we started going to other places where John DJ'ed.

By this time Tibby started sleeping with John. The longer Tibby and Johns "relationship" lasted the more I felt for Pat. She is a really nice person, all-be-it annoying, she doesn't deserve a donkey of a man like John who would cheat on her. John is a compulsive cheater. He's been married three times (cheated on all of them). Divorced #3 to continue a relationship with Pat. Do you understand how upset I could be for my "best" friend Tibby and for Pat. I had another fainting episode and ended up in the hospital. I had stopped taking my medications so I could go out and drink.


(In a way it was my rebellion against my illness. I was tired of being sick. I was gonna die I may as well enjoy myself in the end. I now realize I only hurt myself and the people who care about me. Anyway back to my flashback.)

So I stopped hanging out with them. Tibby still came over or we'd go to the movies. She was still hanging out with John and Pat. They were always together not only at the club but making dinner at Johns place, partying, going to concerts... It's just gross. August 1st Tibby and I went to dinner I told her she had one month to clean up her poop and come clean to Pat. So three weeks later Tibby tells me she is no longer sleeping with John and John has taken a break from Pat. He needs to be "alone". Thing that irked me was this was a secret 'time out' for Pat and John. They didn't want anyone to know about it including Tibby but John told her anyway. My problem is I had a feeling Tibby was lying to me. I didn't believe this oh-so-convenient "time out" they were having.  In early September I was going out with my friends; on the way to Ivy Rooftop I asked to stop at the club where John & Pat worked. As we got out of the car who did we see. John & Pat getting out of his car holding hands and kissing. They said hi and we all went inside. A little while later I saw Pat alone and I came clean. I told her the whole truth & nothing but the truth. I told her everything I knew about John and Tibby. She told me she had a feeling they were sleeping together but needed confirmation of what was going on. She was upset I didn't tell her sooner (which is understandable).

Now Tibby calls me a trader and a vindictive bitch because I told Pat the truth. She said I am not a true friend and she no longer wants to speak to me. It hurts me to think she would actually believe those to be the reasons for me to be honest. My conscience was killing me; it has been a year since all this started and I couldn't take it any more. Tibby deserves a better person as does Pat. After the horrible phone call Tibby and I had she made me feel like I was the worst person in the world. Like I was the evil friend sleeping around. Part of me feels I did the right thing and that Pat needed to know the truth. But after all the drama apparently Pat and John are still together.

So should I have kept quiet?

Stayed out of the situation?

I don't know but if I am going to be me in this world then I feel I did what was right according to me!

So what I'm I doing this year for New Years? Not getting into anymore drama!!! 

(Names have been changed in this post)

Taking a Deep Breathe

Taking a deep breathe is so natural to us we don't even think about doing it. What if one day you have trouble getting that full breathe of air? It's a very scary feeling. I have mentioned previously that I am sick. Well I have been looking for the easiest explanation for what I have. I have what is called "Primary Pulmonary Hypertension". After months of testing doctors could find no cause for my PH so its not considered a secondary illness. Its not easy for me to explain so thanks Google for this lovely explanation:

www.healthtree.com

The right ventricle pumps blood returning from the body into the pulmonary arteries to the lungs to receive oxygen. The pressures in the lung arteries (pulmonary arteries) are normally significantly lower than the pressures in the systemic circulation. When pressure in the pulmonary circulation becomes abnormally elevated, it is referred to as pulmonary hypertension, pulmonary artery hypertension, or PAH.

Pulmonary hypertension generally results from constriction, or stiffening, of the pulmonary arteries that supply blood to the lungs. Consequently, it becomes more difficult for the heart to pump blood forward through the lungs. This stress on the heart leads to enlargement of the right heart and eventually fluid can build up in the liver and other tissues, such as in the legs.

Pulmonary hypertension symptoms may include:

• The most common symptoms of pulmonary hypertension is shortness of breath that worsens with activity.
  
• Other common complaints are cough,fatigue, dizziness, and lethargy.
  
• With the advancement of the condition and ensuing right heart failure, shortness of breath may get worse and retention of fluid in the body may increase (due to failure of the heart to pump blood forward) resulting in swelling the legs.
  
• People may also complain of chest pain and angina.

Signs of pulmonary hypertension may include:

• A rapid breathing, hypoxia (low oxygen level in the blood), and swelling in the legs.
  
• In severe pulmonary hypertension, the doctor may hear louder than normal components of heart sounds when he or she listens to the heart with a stethoscope (auscultation).
  
• The doctor may also feel elevation of the chest wall when the heart pumps and this may indicate enlargement of the right side of the heart suggestive of pulmonary hypertension (right ventricular heave).

from: http://www.medicinenet.com

High blood pressure in the arteries that transport blood from the heart to the lungs - the pulmonary arteries — is referred to as pulmonary hypertension or pulmonary arterial hypertension. As the blood is pumped through the arteries in the lungs, it receives oxygen; this oxygenated blood returns to the heart, where it is then transported to the rest of the body through the aorta and other arteries. Injury or changes to the pulmonary artery can cause the artery to tighten, limiting the passage of blood, and increasing the pressure in the artery.

Pulmonary hypertension (PH) made its debut in the United States media in September 1987 when the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) banned the popular appetite suppressantsfenfluramine and dexfenfluramine. The two popular diet drugs were directly linked to an increased risk of pulmonary hypertension and valvular regurgitation.

In its "primary" form, pulmonary hypertension is a rare disease that affects one to two people per million in the United States every year. The disease can be found in men, women and children, but is more likely to be found in women between the ages of 21 and 40. Most cases of pulmonary artery hypertension are "secondary," meaning they arise as a result of some other underlying disease or factor, such as COPD or HIV.

From: www.healthtree.com

Every PH patient (PHer) is different. What works for others may not have the same effect for me. The doctors have to put together a puzzle to figure out the best treatment for each PHer. I was diagnosed in June 2009. I had been having horrible fainting spells since Sept 2008 but my Dr at that time assumed it was a pre-diabetic condition. She told me to take glucose tabs to bring up my sugars so I wouldn't pass out. Of course this still didn't help. I finally had an episode bad enough to go to the ER and that's when I was told I had PH. The Dr told my mom I had three months to live and sent me home. Since then I have come a long way. I'm still here (thank GOD!) and I am taking 2 PH meds which are helping me some. I'm also supposed to be on O2 24/7.  I call my oxygen tank Oxy.   I think it will take time go get my treatment puzzle worked out but my Dr is amazing and I know she is doing everything possible for me. In the mean time I am just Taking a Deep Breathe! 

Super Losers!!!

I'm super excited about my new adventure. So for the last month I have been trying really hard to loose weight. I no longer eat red meat or anything fried. Now for a Mexican that is really hard. I think its driving my family crazy because I can't eat anything they make. Oh well good thing I love chicken breast. I was watching the Biggest Looser the Finale (Yay Patrick!) when I saw a promo about the Pounds for Pounds Challenge. 

Which is for every pound you pledge to loose they will donate money to your local food bank. I went online and signed up for the challenge. I figured since I'm already loosing weight I may as well help out my community. So while I was on the PFP website  I noticed you could join a group and have a support team, which is always helpful when loosing weight. So I looked for a team in my area and found none. So I started a group called the Super Losers. I even started a Facebook group. Its something fun to do and it also helps our community. So if yall wanna join visit the PFP website at http://www.pfpchallenge.com and look for the Super Losers team. 

WE CAN ALL BE SUPER LOSERS TOGETHER!!! 

Drama, Drama, DRAMA!!!

I haven't been out in months. I've hung out with friends, gone to lunch or dinner, and the movies but I felt like going out out like to a nice club or bar. So last week my friend Pam and I decided Saturday was 'Girls Night'. We met at 3pm and headed for the mall. What girl doesn't like to shop? Anyways while at the mall another friend Vanessa called and invited us to COCO Lounge. Long story short after dinner and girl talk we made it to Vanessa's house then convinced her kind-of-sister-in-law Crystal to go with us. 

My friends  (L-R: Myself, Crystal, Pam, and Vanessa)

After meeting up with Anne and six of her cousins we headed out to COCO Lounge. That's where the rudeness towards Anne started. They told Anne follow them bc Anne didn't know how to get there. They drove away like a bat out of hell. Anne tried to catch up but she had lost them. Good thing my phone has Google maps! Anne called them several times, it turns out they stopped for gas. When we get to COCO Anne refuses to go in until her cousins get there. So we wait in the car.  Anne called to tell them to call us when they got there so we could all go in together. Well these (excuse my language) bitches got there and were going into COCO when Anne saw them, jumped out of the car and ran to catch up. My friends (picture above) went in behind them. We could care less. I felt so bad for Anne. It's a nice place with several areas with different music. I was liking the salsa section myself. Anyway, these girls were driving me crazy! Anne is a chubby lady and her cousins were skinny hooch girls with fake boobs and mini skirts. So they left Anne behind. She spent the whole night trying to stay with them and get into their circle to dance or talk and they would move away or go turn their backs to her. Here's the thing: We're not the skinniest or prettiest group of girls to be out with but damn she's your blood and you invited her. Treat her like a human. They were so rude. I have nothing against skinny hoochy girls but when they think they are better than chubby girls I get pissed. They kept walking around this overly crowded lounge for about an hour. It was ridiculous!!!! OK the place is pact, we lost our VIP table (bc they took forever to get ready), make the most of it, chill out and dance have fun don't let it ruin your night! NO, they wanted to leave and go to another club. So back in the car. Which Anne left unlocked with the keys in the ignition from her catch up run into the club.  They tell her "call us and we'll tell you where to go". All the told her was it was off Blanco & 1604 a place called The Aquifer. Which totally sucked!!! I would have rather stayed at COCO.  Another friend of Anne's was going to meet up with us at Aquifer and gave us directions. We get there and her cousins are in line to get in so they let us cut in . When they get to the bouncer and they told him they were a party of 6 leaving Anne and the rest of us behind. Anne got pissed off at this point. So we finally made it in and she confronted her cousins. They lied to her and told her they told the bouncer there was 11 in our group and he only lets in 5 at a time. Here's the thing: 1. there was 12 in our party, 2. He let 6 in. Can we say lying hoochy b#@$*es!!!! So we stayed about 30min and Anne FINALLY had enough of them! We went to Chacho's for some yummy nachos. Anyway we made it back to Vanessa's house. Pam and I get ready to leave when I start to feel sick. We end up having to call 911 and I spent the last 2 days in the hospital. The good thing was is I didn't drink any alcohol all night!

University Hospital

Lessons learned:

1.Do not go out with anyone but your own group of friends. Pam, Crystal, Vanessa and I had a great time. We just felt bad for Anne who kept trying to fit in with her cousins.

2. Stay at COCO Lounge! I really would like to go back.

3. Avoid The Aquifer! BORING!!!!!!!!

4. Sunday Morning (3am) is not the best time to be in the ER!

5. Thank God for GREAT friends who know what to do when I'm sick. Like get my oxygen on first, laying me down, call 911, then my parents. Thanks Pam riding in the ambulance with me!

WHAT A NIGHT!!!!!!

True Love?

Does love exist? Yes I think love is something we all need. I love my family and my friends. But is there such a thing as "true love"? Again I say yes. When love is pure and honest and true it's in its greatest form. Such as the love from God. I'm spiritual, religious, a believer in Jesus Christ and I believe His love is the greatest of all. That being said, I don't believe there is "the one" for me. I don't feel everyone is supposed to get married, have babies and live happily ever after. I love Cinderella (it's even my dogs name) but it's a fairy tale, made up fake. I don't think "the one" is some where out there waiting for me. I don't believe my prince charming is searching San Antonio (my shoe in hand) looking for me. 

Here are my views:

1. All men cheat. 

          OK so maybe not all men per say but enough to make me doubt. If someone truly loves me why did they cheat in the first place? 

2. I don't want to put up with BS.

          Exhibit A: Guys are controlling... what we can or can't wear, who are friends are, when to be home... I can give personal accounts to these statements. Again not all guys are like this but why take the chance. I don't want to deal with it.

Some of you may read to this point and say I have a fear of  getting my heart broken. I'd say your correct. It's happened many times in my short 26 years. I've never had a relationship but I've never wanted one either. Yes it would be nice to have a companion to share you heart and life with. My mom says I feel this way because I've never truly been "in love" and she maybe right.

But the biggest reason I don't believe in my "the one" is the most personal. Being sick all the time having to deal with doctor visits, hospital visits, needing surgery etc. I don't feel I have anything to offer. I get tired easily, I can't have kids, I carry an oxygen tank everywhere I go. It's just too much to have to deal with for someone. I already impose on my family and friends. I don't want to do that to some poor guy. Thanks I'll stay single! 

So, there it is True Love defined... in my view. 

Why oh why?

This is my first blog ever and i really don't know what to say. That's stupid for someone who is going to be writing a blog! Why did I start a blog you ask? Well, i love to write and I wanted to share my thoughts. It started by talking with a friend on Facebook. I was trying to explain my views on love and finding true love but he didn't get it. So here I am I'm gonna write about my views, my friends, my family (names will be changed for their sake) and me. Everything I am, will be and hope to be...