It has really been a long two months since my last post. I now have the Remodulin pump (named John) and to be honest I am feeling so much better. I haven't felt this great in over two years.
It has been overwhelming to learn everything about the pump, learning to live with an iv & pump. I needed to relearn everything from sleeping on my back (which I still don't like) to how to shower. It's not easy or pretty to look at but my life is almost back to normal.
These past two years has been a journey of growth. I have gone from fighting for my life to trying to commit suicide then back to find God again. I realize now looking back God didn't do this to me it was just part of life. It was a stumbling block. I don't have to fall because of this and give up. I need to continue fighting and working to adjust to my new "normal".
For me life has a new meaning. I have gone back to doing youth ministry. I teach people about my battle & victory, and living with PH. Having my pump, John, is a great conversation starter and a wonderful way to bring awareness about OH and about my faith in God. God has given me this new change in life. I'm not going to disappoint Him.
I not only have begun doing youth ministry again, but am helping with a new young adult ministry. I am also going back to college (finally!) and I am planning a Fun Walk (SA PHun Walk 4 Hope) to raise funds for PH research. This is a whole new life for me and I am going to live each day to the fullest and the best of my ability.
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