What's in my future?

graphic from andjustincase.blogspot.com

What's in my future?  I don't know.

Ten years ago I was a senior in high school. It's crazy how time flies. I remember writing, what felt like a million essays about where I'd be in ten years. Back then I said I would be in the process of becoming a doctor. I wanted to be a Pediatrician. I would have gone to Incarnate Word University then into medical school. (I know I blogged about this a while back ago)

 Anyway,  now here I am ten years later and I haven't even finished getting an associates degree. I had such high hope & standards for myself. I feel like I failed in some way. Getting sick had nothing to do with not accomplishing my goals. I only got sick about three years ago. So that is no excuse; neither is being a full time youth minister because may other youth ministers I know personally are going to school as well. 

Where did I go wrong? I'm not really sure I can pin point just one derailment.

graphic from Scripture Slides by Randall Bowman

 But the great news is with this second chance at life I'm going to live my dreams. By the grace & love of God I am still alive and with His help my dreams will become a reality.  I am in the process of starting school, I am almost able to registrar for classes, all I need to do is go to group advising and then I can registrar. It's so exciting. I'm not sure what major yet. 

I was looking on line at different job opportunities with the Pulmonary Hypertension Association. I would love to work there and help others with PH. I think that would be amazing. But I am leaving it all in God's hands. I want to live the life He wants. My plans totally failed so now I'm going according to His plan for my life. 

So What's in my future? Only God knows but it will be great!!!! 

Walking in NEW LIFE!!!

It has really been a long two months since my last post. I now have the Remodulin pump (named John) and to be honest I am feeling so much better. I haven't felt this great in over two years.


 It has been overwhelming to learn everything about the pump, learning to live with an iv & pump. I needed to relearn everything from sleeping on my back (which I still don't like) to how to shower. It's not easy or pretty to look at but my life is almost back to normal. 


These past two years has been a journey of growth. I have gone from fighting for my life to trying to commit suicide then back to find God again. I realize now looking back God didn't do this to me it was just part of life. It was a stumbling block. I don't have to fall because of this and give up. I need to continue fighting and working to adjust to my new "normal". 


For me life has a new meaning. I have gone back to doing youth ministry. I teach people about my battle & victory, and living with PH. Having my pump, John, is a great conversation starter and a wonderful way to bring awareness about OH and about my faith in God. God has given me this new change in life. I'm not going to disappoint Him.


I not only have begun doing youth ministry again, but am helping with a new young adult ministry. I am also going back to college (finally!) and I am planning a Fun Walk (SA PHun Walk 4 Hope) to raise funds for PH research. This is a whole new life for me and I am going to live each day to the fullest and the best of my ability.